How Quickly We Forget...

I am amazed by how quickly I tend to forget pain! After an incredibly horrible day, I will try to begin again with an optimistic attitude as if nothing bad happened the day before. Monday was a very challenging day which included going to my first day of classes, hobbling around on my cast, walking about 10 blocks all said and done, getting lost before my interview, arriving late and almost in tears, and then hobbling back via the metro, bus, and walking to my house. (Note: Don't worry about the interview. I calmed down before I got there, she offered me tea, and we had a very nice talk. She offered me two different internship opportunities too.)

But in short, it was a VERY long and tiring day. HOWEVER, the next day after talking to my mommy, sissy, and Meggy, I decided to put on an optimistic attitude and was amazed at how quickly I was able to forget my pain. Maybe this is an adaptation we have that allows us to learn from our mistakes and move on with life. All the same, in order to express my feelings from Monday, I wrote a poem.

I have never felt more stress or been more challenged than that day. But for that, I have also never been more proud of myself than that day. I was a rockstar for doing that and anyone who wants to step out of his/her comfort zone and reap the benefits later should try the following. Enroll in a Chilean university with teenagers you've never met who speak a language you don't really speak that well and try to see if it is the place that God meant for you to be. At the very least, you will learn a TON about yourself. That's what being adventurous is all about.

{Mi poema sin título}

I look ahead and see a wave of morenos
I keep my head fastened to the floor
Trying to escape the stares yet unable to escape the nerves
I feel my psyche recoil like a child who feels threatened
I am a bull's eye of bizarre
My presence screamed through the halls
Soy rubia, alta--la rubia, la alta--con yeso y sin accento
Pushing open the classroom door, I enter an empty safe haven
A seat in the back greets me, secure in its isolation
Never thought I could envy a chair so much
Packs of people enter, the minutes slowly tick down
I'm the new kid in the 7th grade class
I'm the kid who gets picked last for the team
I'm the most vulnerable person in the world
My eyes burn into the paper that I've read a million times
All my senses are piqued as my heart beats, beats, beats
The teacher speaks and all of my energy is channeled
To listening, processing and recording the information
That glorious information given to us through speech
What a beautiful gift to be able to decipher the spoken word
Such a simple concept catacombed in complexity
Mis compañeros de clase sit back in their seats
Listening to the speech they've heard a million times
What am I doing here? I ask myself
Amidst the crowd of dialogue entering my mind
Have I asked too much of myself this time?
I fell asleep a bright, accomplished college student
I've awakened a child--unable to express
The desires, the knowledge, the abilities I possess
They are caged up inside my mind, inside my heart
All it would take is one person to free me
To make me feel normal
To make me feel like I belong
That my decision is not wrong
As I clasp my hands, clench my teeth & feel my heart in my chest
Me dio cuento that I am the only person with the power to do this
I am my own worst enemy.
I make my reality. I make my success.
Lord give me strength, I silently pray.
Let today be the day I change my way.