Porque?

I've been up to my ears in responsibilities due to preparation for my Chilean visa. It is SUCH a lengthy and complex process. But luckily I am not taking very hard classes this term. I did that last term and I think I deserve a break before I challenge myself for 6 months in another country. Ya...I think I deserve a little break. Once this car ordeal is over, I can also relax a bit. If all goes well, we should have our car back tomorrow. That is after I bike another 5 miles out there (again) to see if it is ready. I can't wait to have my baby back...it will be nice to have transportation again. You know, I always seem to feel so stressed out about life but as long as you get at least two things accomplished each day that move you towards your goal, you will feel much more sane.

Every day I get one more thing ready for Chile or I make one call for school or FAFSA or job applications. And I find peace in this because if I tried to get everything done all at once, I would go crazy. I told my best friend to do this too and I think it has kept her sane as well. Actually never mind she is just naturally kinda crazy ;) jk meg Pray that I get the Gilman scholarship and that I get Financial Aid for next school year. I will be hoping and praying too! Much love and thanks for reading...

Awesome Quote

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

This is so true. So many times in my life I have held myself back because of my fear of looking like a know-it-all or making people feel insecure. I need to let my talents out full force. I need to stop caring what people think about me. I need to live to the full potential of my talents.

Back for Spring Term

Howdy friends and family...It is time for Spring Term to begin and I must admit that I am still pretty burnt out from my 21.5 units during winter term. But Spring term always offers great opportunity because the sun is out and I can get in shape and everyone is super happy. I am taking a lot of cool classes this term including a Personal Training practicum, Spanish 25, an exercise physiology lab, and an anthropology class about Primate Life Cycles. I am also in HEAL again and I will be continuing as a TA for Kinesiology.

I am actually doing a million little things to prepare for the term. I never thought I would be this busy at the start of things but I feel like there is always something that needs to get done. All the same, I do not regret for one minute that I had the most relaxing spring break EVER! Just hung out with family and lazed around and it was beautiful. Man, it has been so long since I wrote I need a starting point...a foundation for this blog...if you will. I am just gonna start by writing down some quotes I recently came across. They offer a lot of meaning to my life I feel.

"It doesn't take any more time to dream a big dream than to dream a small dream."

"Everything you want in life is just right outside your comfort zone. What are you waiting for?"

“I’m the kind of person who needs everything to be justified and needs all of her time to be worth the energy. So, let’s say I date a guy who really does nothing but damage me. And you’ve spent time, you’ve spent effort, and you’ve put everything into trying to make that work. And it didn’t. So you write a song about it. It was worth everything, if you write a song about it.” --Taylor Swift

“I have always been fascinated with fairy tales and the idea that Prince Charming is just one castle away. You’re gonna run across a field and meet each other in the middle, and have an amazing, perfect movie kiss. And it’s all gonna be happily ever after.” --Taylor Swift

OK so that gives me a good starting point. Those Taylor Swift quotes really speak to me because that is what I believe and that is also what gets me into trouble. I believe so much in fate that I find myself incapable of action. If I like a guy, I am not willing to bring myself out of my comfort zone because I don't want to go against fate. It is bad because I am not working for anything...I am hoping that this abstract force in the universe does the work for me. I have to work to change this. I can make a little bit of an effort albeit out of my comfort zone...then I can see how fate works on that action.

I watched Under The Tuscan Sun over break and another quote from there also caught my attention. "Never lose your childhood innocence. It is the most important thing." I feel like I still have my childhood innocence within my reach but as I grow up, it is harder and harder to hold on to it. This is because with every experience, my knowledge of the world grows more rich and unfortunatly, there are many consequences that come from knowing more and more about the world. The world can be a dark place. True, it is what you make of it so people who want to see the good things can remain aware of only the good things. But for me, it is hard to ignore those dark looming aspects of the world...and the knowledge of these elements is what threatens my childish innocence. So I shall keep this quote in mind as I am growing up and experiencing so many things in these fast-paced 4 years of college.

The last thing that I want to address in this Blog is my physical therapy plans. I am as hot and cold about my future as a sink with two faucets. One day I can be all about physical therapy and then the next I am wondering why I would ever choose to pursue that. I just can't decide. The thing that I want to do for a job must incorporate helping people and health education. I know that with my minor I will be able to be a personal trainer and a group fitness instructor. But I have heard that this is only a side job. I think that is what led me to thing that I kinda HAD to thing about physical therapy as a way to support myself with a "real job". But I don't want to be a doctor...I just want to help people. PT requires physics, hard core science classes, and math. I am not saying that I am not willing to do the work because I know I can do anything I put my mind to. But here's the thing...

As mentioned above, my belief in fate is leading me to question if all those science classes are a way to show me that PT isn't for me. I feel after 4 years at UCSB, I will be more than ready to start in the health world and start learning about work in the real world. I don't want to be in school for another 1 year with super mathy, sciency classes just to go through 3 more years of schooling. Don't get me wrong, I want to go to graduate school but I want to go for exercise science. Another instance that brough about my change of heart (for the moment??) in PT was my correspondence with a PT in Denver. She said that if I wanted to start on my path to completing the pre-reqs for the PT program, I needed to move away from the Exercise Sciences and start moving towards the Advanced Sciences. This really caught my attention because to move away from exercise sciences would be, for me, like moving away from singing or from Lee Lee. I would be robbing myself of something I truly love and stand for.

PT DOES interest me but my questions are plenty. Is it worth all the suffering in those sciencey, mathy classes? Will I really be happy as a PT...as a DOCTOR? Does my personality FIT physical therapy? Can't I still help people in the way that I want by being a group fitness instructor or a health educator or a personal trainer? Maybe I am just scared to graduate and not know for SURE what I will be doing? But isn't that the excitement of life...applying and finding out where you are meant to be. I know a woman who moved to SB to be with her true love and she is now teaching Nutrition at a high school and focuses on educating obese teenagers. What an edifying occupation. I could find myself doing that if I just have faith. So I think that I am going to really take time to think this through.

I would LOVE to know what you guys think of anything I wrote about here. I know I can be long-winded but let me know your favorite topic that I wrote about at least. Y'alls opinion means the world to me. I love you all!

Well I always want to write more but for the moment, more thoughts shall not escape for me.